Day Three - How to Lose a Narcissist in 30 Days

Before learning about narcissistic abuse and why survivors would repeatedly return to the abusive environment or person, I had never heard of peptide addiction. When I first heard the term and started researching it, I thought I had found the Holy Grail of knowledge for the ladies I spoke to who questioned whether they were somehow weak or defective.

If you're reading this and wondering the same thing about yourself, let me assure you; you're not flawed. You just discovered yourself in the pitcher plant without an escape plan. Annie Grace shares Allen Carr's analogy of the pitcher plant. She talks of this deadly plant, and how the pleasant aroma and intoxicating liquid lure innocent bugs in, and before they know it, the plant is closing in on them. She then likens this slippery slope to alcohol. This analogy also fits those caught in the abuse cycle. Peptide addiction is similar in that your emotions lure you in and cause you to return for more of the buzz.

Melanie Tonia Evans says, "Peptide addiction is one of the most vital things to ever realize about narcissistic abuse recovery. It will grant you the answers, relief, and the actual solution that maybe no one has told you about until now."

“Peptides are chemical releases our cells receive that match every emotion we experience. The cells don't care whether the peptides come from positive or negative emotions; they only care about the intensity of the peptide” (Inner Solace Therapy). When we receive regular doses of peptides from intense emotions caused by fear, rejection, or betrayal, we are literally becoming the quality of this rush on a cellular level. We feel these peptides somatically (within our body).  

Evans also says peptides are as addictive as any synthetic drug known to man. Studies on rats have shown that when given peptides regularly, they become so dependent on them that they will forego all food, drink, and self-care to get their fix. It made no difference whether the peptide was of good or bad quality. You can read more about this in her blog post here: https://melanietoniaevans.com/blog/the-answer-to-narcissistic-abuse-that-no-is-talking-about-peptide-addiction/

Although it might be tough to accept, your abuser is your drug dealer. Most likely, you are trauma-bonded to the narcissist. And for those who have gone no-contact or left your toxic relationship, you may still get these chemical hits. Like someone addicted to drugs, your body doesn't suddenly forget when you leave the abuser. It will continue searching for the next "fix."  

Ruminating on the abuse causes the same chemical rush and keeps you addicted. As the peptides flow into your bloodstream, you will be tempted to return to your dealer for more.  

So now, do you understand why the abuse cycle keeps you trapped even when you only think about it, process it mentally, or reflect on things you wish you had said or done? You may have left the narcissist years ago, but you're not free if you're still struggling with peptide addiction!  

You can learn how to detox from the narcissist and begin to heal.  

The first step is going no-contact; I'll explain this method more in a future blog post. For now, know it means what it says, walk away, and have zero contact with this person.  

By establishing a regular self-care regimen that involves somatic exercise, mindfulness, and working on your ideas and beliefs about yourself (not the narcissist), you may start to flood your body, mind, heart, and soul with "good" peptides.

I am not a therapist, so I strongly encourage you to contact a licensed therapist for support during this process. Find someone familiar with narcissistic abuse and knows how our bodies hold onto trauma.

Working with a licensed therapist or doing somatic therapy can release you from the grip the narcissist has on you. One of the women I interviewed said it wasn't until she did EMDR therapy that she genuinely began to heal. You are not obligated to stick with the first therapist you run across, do your research, and don't be afraid to walk away if it doesn't feel like a good fit.

Stay tuned for more information as you learn how to lose a narcissist in 30 days!